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Intensity of Reaction
In general, how strongly does your child react to positive or negative experiences? Does a scraped knee send him into hysterics or does she tend to cry a bit, dust himself off and keep going?

Distractibility
Is you child easily distracted by things going on around her or can she shut out intrusive stimuli and stay focused?

Attention Span and Persistence
Can your child stick with a task or does he tend to give up or lose interest quickly? Does he have difficulty switching from one activity to another, or can he stop what he’s doing relatively easily?

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Refuse to let it bother you
Pick a quiet time and tell your child that there’s a new rule: If he whines, you won’t respond. “From then on, whenever he whines, keep your facial expression absolutely neutral,” Dr. Borba says. Calmly tell your child that you can’t understand what he wants when he whines and that you’ll listen when he talks in a nicer voice. You might also ask him to choose a signal for you to use as a warning sign when you’re about to stop listening, such as pulling on your ear, suggests Dr. Nelsen.

Help them “ask nicely”

She may not even realize she’s whining—or she may not truly understand what the word means. The best way to explain it is to tape-record both her whiny and pleasant voices and then play them back for her. (Make it clear that you’re using the tape to help her learn, not to make her feel bad.) You may also have to teach her the specific words to use when she wants to tell you that she’s tired, hungry, bored, or frustrated. “Kids really want to do what’s right,” Dr. Borba says. “But too often, we mistakenly assume that they know what’s right. When you show them, they have a model to copy.”

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AD Kids Inc. Information: Fortunately, you can break this pattern—in a way that encourages your child’s development rather than punishes her. “When you stop getting frustrated by the whining, your child will stop too,” insists Dr. Nelsen. At first, this laissez-faire approach seemed completely unrealistic to me, but because my daughter was a whine connoisseur, I decided to try it.

It wasn’t easy—often I was tempted to yell or just give her what she wanted, but I was determined to be firm and consistent. “You have to exercise a lot of self-control,” acknowledges Dr. Crowder. To my amazement, within a few weeks, Elizabeth had gotten into the habit of asking nicely instead of nagging. Here’s what you do.

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Susan Henrichs
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If by age 2 your child rarely attempts to speak or imitate others or just seems totally uninterested in talking, he may have a speech problem or hearing problem.

If by age 3 your child continues to drop consonants (saying “ea-ut” for “peanut,” for example) or substituting a sound or syllable for another (saying “waining” instead of “raining”), he may need speech therapy or have a hearing problem. Other warning signs to look for: He avoids eye contact, has difficulty naming most common household objects, or hasn’t started to use two- or three-word phrases. His doctor will need to evaluate him so both of you can plan the next course of action.

It’s normal for a child to go through a phase of stuttering, especially when he’s in a period of such rapid growth in his ability to express himself; he’s so excited to tell you what’s on his mind that he sometimes can’t get the words out easily. But if it continues for more than six months, or becomes worse to the point where he’s tensing his jaw or grimacing in an effort to get the words out, you should talk to his doctor.

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AD Kids Information: Foreign-Speaking Sitters
In order to start instilling the use of Spanish, Flores sought a very talented nanny who agreed to only speak Spanish to her young charge. “A lot of the books we read to my daughter are in English, and television is also in English,” she says. “We knew she would pick the language up regardless, so we wanted to do something where she would feel almost forced to speak Spanish and keep that going. She knows who she needs to speak to in what language, and with her babysitter she knows she has no choice [but to speak Spanish].”

Now, Flores is amazed at how well her daughter speaks both English and Spanish at the ripe old age of almost 3. “She pronounces things better in English than in Spanish,” says Flores. “She picked up the English faster than the Spanish, but she is definitely a conversational speaker – as much as a child can get who’s not quite 3.”

The key is in the daily immersion of the Spanish language. Flores’ nanny talks her daughter through whatever they’re doing. “The sitter was a teacher and ultimately a principal for many years back in her country, so I think she has the professional experience in dealing with small children,” Flores says. “She teaches letters, colors and numbers.”

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Reading to your child and discussing books is a great way to encourage talking. “I like Arthur. Who do you like?” or “Where did the puppy go?” Reading to your child daily will enrich his vocabulary, understanding and his talking while spending precious snuggle-time together.

It’s important to provide opportunities in your daily routine to enrich your toddler’s speech and language skills. A child may be reluctant to talk because they’re never encouraged to do so. Why would a child talk if pointing, grunting or having others talk for him can meet his needs?

On the other hand, a child who seems to be a “late talker” may be demonstrating a communication disorder and should be evaluated by a speech-language pathologist to determine if a disability exists. So discuss your concerns with your pediatrician and/or consult with a speech and language pathologist to see if a speech and language evaluation is indicated.

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No Additives Please
Which baby foods? A decade ago, nutritionists called attention to the fact that some commercial baby foods contained food additives, sugar and salt. To their credit, the baby food manufacturers responded by eliminating unnecessary additives from most of their products. As a result, today’s baby foods contain no added salt and little or no sugar.

Unless your baby is going to eat the entire contents of a jar of baby food at one mealtime, it is best not to feed directly from the jar. And be careful not to store an opened baby food jar in the refrigerator for more than two days.

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Participate in the Process
You shouldn’t feel as though you need to try and make your child crawl at an early age. In the long run, it doesn’t make any difference to his or her later development. However, you might as well have fun with your active, learning baby! There are lots of things you can do to be encouraging during this stage.

Entice your baby to move from one place to another by placing a toy (or yourself) just out of your baby’s reach. Get down on the floor with her, and tell her what a good job she’s doing – this is hard work!

You can also try putting a rolled towel under her chest while she’s on her stomach to help her keep her head up. This way she can look around during tummy time and enjoy herself more. When she tries to crawl, put your hand behind her feet so she has something to push against.

Remember, she’ll learn at her own pace, there’s no need to hurry anything. As a parent, you’re there to offer support and a nurturing environment, while your baby figures out what’s best for her.

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AD Kids Inc: Enjoy the Ride
If there’s one universal truth about babies, it’s that nothing stays the same for very long. As soon as you get used to your child being able to creep or crawl, she’ll be up and running! Relax (as much as possible, anyway), play with your baby, help clear a path for her, and take the time to marvel over her development as she moves forward in her own unique, amazing ways.

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Gains Through Games
And when you’re having fun, you’ll see great results from your efforts, say the experts. Morey says that moms who consistently come to her class – where games are an integral part of the curriculum – find their children hitting major milestones much earlier. In the last year, she’s had two babies start walking at only 10 months.

Playing educational games with your baby helps him develop a wide range of skills that he’ll need to function in the world. “Play affects all aspects of development from motor skills to cognitive and social abilities,” says Gwyneth Doherty-Sneddon, a developmental psychologist at the University of Stirling in Scotland. “These skills include hand-eye coordination, fine muscle movements and learning to take turns with another person. Through play, babies practice their skills, continually developing them as they do.”

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AD Kids Information: For parents of toddlers learning to speak, it can be difficult to tell the difference between normal difficulties with speech and stuttering. If your child has trouble talking and hesitates on or repeats certain syllables, words or phrases, he may have a stuttering problem.

However, he may simply be going through periods of normal “disfluency” that most children experience as they learn to speak, according to Dr. Barry Guitar from the University of Vermont and Dr. Edward Conture from Vanderbilt University.

Stuttering is a complex disorder that affects three million Americans, and according to The Stuttering Foundation, a non-profit organization working toward the prevention and improved treatment of stuttering, there is a general lack of knowledge when it comes to stuttering.

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In order to help your baby learn, it’s important to repeat the activity regularly. “Babies learn through repetition,” says Morey. She suggests doing the same activity every day, gradually building on it by altering the activity as Baby develops and is ready to do more. Try making a ritual out of it by playing the game at the same time every day as part of another activity. Maybe you always play peek-a-boo while changing diapers, or maybe you play during bath time. “Rituals are really important with children because they allow the child to feel safe,” says Morey.

Knowing when your child is ready for certain games is also important. Sometimes you can over-stimulate babies by doing activities they are developmentally not ready for. Signs of over-stimulation include crying, falling asleep or turning the head away. You can learn age-appropriate activities by reading books, attending infant development classes or even surfing online.

But no matter what you do, make sure it’s fun for you and your baby. Playing games will help the two of you share an even closer bond. “It is a special bonding time with the parent,” says Rosenblum. “There are so many things to do with your child, and when you see that first smile, laugh and them trying to imitate a game, it is so rewarding.”

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Shortly before my first child was born, the governor of my state — Zell Miller, now a U.S. Senator — made a startling announcement: Every baby born in Georgia would receive a free classical music CD at the hospital. This wasn’t just some bonus prize for being born; it was a start to making Georgians smarter. “Listening to music at a very early age affects the spatial, temporal reasoning that underlies math and engineering and even chess,” the governor’s statement said. Wow, I thought, all that from a CD? My soon-to-be Georgia peach would be smarter than her mom and dad combined.

We got our CD, but it turns out that in the world of baby smarts, as in life, there are no quick, easy, free solutions. Governor Miller, who based his initiative on an article in Time magazine, got it a wee bit wrong. In fact, the much-referenced study, which gave rise to the phrase “the Mozart Effect,” showed that college-age students who listened to Mozart for 10 minutes did better on a spatial relations test a few minutes later. The Mozart Effect, such as it was, was specific, fleeting, and had nothing whatsoever to do with babies.

Nevertheless, the study managed to make believers of a whole generation of new parents who got sucked into buying all manner of pint-size instruments and musical toys and enrolling their 4-month-olds in music classes. The trend seemed to be a side effect of bad science reporting in the popular press over the last decade or so.

In addition to the myths about the Mozart Effect — and the ensuing number of musical toys with grand claims about making babies smarter — there was a lot of ink devoted to the importance of the first three years of life. Parents were sold on the “use it or lose it” theory — the notion that unless certain areas of the brain (those that would turn Johnny into a brilliant mathematician, for instance) were stimulated in those crucial early months of life, the window of opportunity would snap shut, never to open again. Classical music was considered an important stimulus, so a parent who failed to play hours of the stuff for her infant was clearly irresponsible.

Well, all those parents out there can relax. “There is no scientific research on the effect listening to music has on a baby’s intelligence,” says Frances Rauscher, PhD, a psychologist with the University of Wisconsin and the lead researcher on the college-student study that launched all the brouhaha. Our Mozart Effect research was blown way out of proportion.”

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Let her make some of her own decisions. Children learn from making their own choices. So in safe situations, try to let her do just that. After all, she’s highly unlikely to get hurt by wearing stripes with polka dots. The hardest part of this task is allowing your child to do something utterly ridiculous while maintaining a sense of fairness and humor. Andrea Kane of Decatur, Georgia, has firsthand knowledge: “My daughter, Carina, always wants to wear her ballet clothes. I let her, provided she wears weather-appropriate layers underneath it all,” she says. “Sometimes she looks a little odd, but we’re all happy.”

In other instances, you can meet your child halfway; allowing him to pick out his own breakfast every day, for instance, would be sure to put him in a sugar coma. Allow him to choose from a couple of options he likes: Does he want Cheerios or eggs for breakfast? It’s also helpful to find compromises that allow your child to take some control of his life. For example, he can climb into the car seat himself, but you buckle him in.

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AD Kids: “I’ll Do It My Way!”

The seeds of independence are actually sowed quite early, far earlier than the point at which your child can say, “No! Me do it!” The very first step occurs around 6 months of age, when baby begins to understand that he’s an individual, separate from his parents.

Surprisingly enough, baby’s first indication of independence may be crying when Mom or Dad leaves the room. Separation anxiety in all its noisy glory is a sign that your child understands he’s his own person; as much as he wants to try things out himself, he’s still unsure about it and wants Mom or Dad around. From there, the signs get more obvious. A 7- or 8-month-old may grab his spoon to feed himself; a 9- or 10-month-old will crawl to his toy box and select the toys he wants to play with.
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